As I sashay through the valley of the shadow of death
My bra is nowhere in sight, so I substitute with a tight Tshirt. The oversized men’s boxers that I have bunched under my shorts because I packed and moved all my underwear to my other house slip out a little underneath the back of the shorts’ leg. Shorts which, incidentally, I broke the button off and have been holding together with a pin that just has Zach Effron’s face on it. I haven’t showered today, and have literally been sitting in my house all day sweating. I slip on my boots and step out in the cool night air. Checking my armpits one last time and hoping they smell slightly less like death after I slathered on copious amounts of Old Spice “Swagger”, I set out for my only destination of the night: Taco Bell.
I am a goddess, I say to myself.